Chasing Narnia

DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a therapy session blog post.

Do you ever feel happy? I mean, REALLY stupid, substance-free induced, happy? So happy that one may feel compelled to frolic in order to release said happiness? I know that this type of happiness might be difficult to comprehend in these times of impending doom (swine flu, economic collapse, N. Korea, Afghanistan, pirates, Obama's First 100 Days, etc.), but after watching the first 40 seconds of one of the trailers on the Simpson's Movie DVD, I can confidently say: It does exist and it is HILARIOUS.

Other local happiness locations:

1. West Fest in West, TX in a field of mushrooms - with one in glasses and with a mushrump:



2. Possibly at one of Jesse's Law prof's house - the term "Narnia" did surface while we were there for an advocacy teams dinner...

3. The original Narnia in McLean, VA at the Barringer Southern Grounds.

PS: Hans Zimmer's Spider Pig Theme is AMAZING.

The Worst Hundred Days

Mustaches, Foreheads, and Jowls - oh my! Although we may feel lost in the woods as the U.S. has definitely seen better days, we have also seen many worse. But, I wonder what milestone excuse the media will use next to talk about Obama..The Second Hundred days? The day after the First Hundred days?

Pistols for Pandas

'Cause it's a good cause.

One Flu Over The Swine-Pig's Nest

How Swine Infect Humans

Yes, more Swine Flu humor through "art"... I feel like there should be a joke about pork barrel spending here...

Pigs CAN Fly

Apparently, pigs can fly (with the help of birds) - that's how the sneaky avians created swine flu in their secret sky labs.

Also, doesn't Avian Flu just sound better? I mean, Swine Flu? Really?

Let's Give a Cheer for the U of NT!

In reading the North Texas Newsletter, I noticed a small article about a larger than life UNT Alumnus, Francis Stroup:

"UNT fight song composer and alumnus Francis Stroup is featured on the New York Times web site, sharing his story about starting his career in the Depression era and his days in Denton and Golden, Texas. Music always has been a part of his life, and when he entered 'Fessor Floyd Graham's contest for a marching song, he crafted 'Fight, North Texas.' After graduating in 1929, Dr. Stroup went on to teach and eventually became a professor of physical education at Northern Illinois University. This year will mark his 100th birthday, his 80th class reunion and the 70th anniversary of the adoption of 'Fight, North Texas.'"

Here is a link to him discussing the Great Depression and college job market during that time.

Knutty Newt

In 2007, Newt Gingrich coauthored A Contract With The Earth - a probusiness approach to proenvironment initiatives. While I have not read the book, I applaud the Former Speaker's efforts to promote Green Conservatism - a passion that both Jesse and I share. Conservation, new green technologies, and recycling go hand in hand with the conservative movement - by saving resources we save money, a green revolution can be launched through the innovations of industry.

Here is a rhetorical video on Green Conservatism - heavy on the marketing, heavy on the awesome.



Chuckle worthy afterthought: "Newt has liked animals and zoos since he was a little boy." Because nothing says conservation like animals in concrete cages.

For Your Brainicle

The May issue Wired features Brain Teasers/puzzles! So, if you are looking for a distraction, here is a link to each puzzle:

Digidoku	Answer Key	Secret Codons	Answer Key
Thanks for the Memories	Answer Key	Color Scheme	Answer Key
Pick Nine	Answer Key	Bearing the Weight	Answer Key
Mixed Signals	Answer Key	Mismatched Episode Titles	Answer Key
Split Screen	Answer Key	25 Non-Random Things About Me	Answer Key
Game Changers	Answer Key	Six Little Words	Answer Key
Shades of Gray	Answer Key	Two for the Price of One	Answer Key

Font Etiquette: Comic Sans What?

You. How dare you use this font!

Apparently, there is large underground movement to remove Comic Sans from Microsoft fonts due to "inappropriate" use - such as composing serious emails, signage, Beanie Babies tags, etc. when the original intent was for comic strip word bubbles.

The movement has gained significant momentum - enough to attract the WSJ:

"Typefaces convey meaning, typographers say. Helvetica is an industry standard, plain and reliable. Times New Roman is classic. Depending on your point of view, Comic Sans is fun, breezy, silly or vulgar and lazy."

Intense, WSJ.

The Ban Comic Sans Movement has a website with an ever so clever slogan "putting the sans in comic sans."

For more background on this infontjustice, here is a link to the wikipedia article.

Yes. There is a T-Shirt.

Rubrik's Cuba?

Puzzling indeed.

First, the Obama handshake/gift exchange = a media slap in the face. Most politicians and pundits are all up in arms about the handshake, but what about the actual gift Chavez gave to Obama? Here ya go Obama, here's a book about the history of Latin America, as you obviously know nothing about the region. Yeah, that's offensive. The handshake can easily be played off as Obama's commitment to respecting foreign nations.

Also, I admit that I am not an expert on Latin America, but I do agree with Michael Barone that Obama's priorities seem discombobulated:

"As Barack Obama finishes up his second major foreign tour, a pattern in his approach to foreign policy seems to be emerging. On pressing matters of obvious importance, he has made responsible decisions that have not been far out of line with the policies of his predecessor and current necessities. But when it comes to seting priorities for the future, he has chosen to emphasize initiatives that seem more appropriate to situations America faced in his college years, the late 1970s and early 1980s, than to the threats America faces today...

In 1961, the year Obama was born, Cuba was a central preoccupation of American foreign policy. Today Cuba (population 11 million) is not a major problem. Meanwhile, the Obama administration violates the North American Free Trade Association treaty by banning trucks from Mexico (population 109 million), refuses to ratify the free-trade agreement with Colombia (population 44 million), and, despite our need for alternative fuels, makes no move to rescind the 54-cent tariff on sugar ethanol from Brazil (population 191 million).

Obama campaigned as the candidate of hope and change. But on pressing matters he has, responsibly, not produced as much change as many of his supporters expected. And in setting priorities, he seems to be heading back to the distant past, to the disarmament debates of the 1970s and 1980s, to the frenzy over Cuba in 1961-62. Is that the change we need?"

As cold war bunkers are being turned into mansions, Mr. Barone offers an interesting debate topic. Ms. Lanier, do you have any enlightening words of wisdom about Latin America foreign policy as a scholar of Brazil? Thoughts on Cuba?

Mary Not OK

I recognize that Mary K offers a great career for women and helps to empower women to provide for themselves while also taking care of a family, etc. BUT. Please do not solicit Mary K products to me on Facebook or Twitter - I accepted you as a friend, not as a sales rep. I'll poke you, not you poke me. Booya.

Talkin' Trash

And I'm not talkin' about the Homeland Security Department (although I probably should be) -I'm talkin' true garbage:

1. Jesse and I recently started a garden and compost - it's amazing! (and so is the air brushed picture above, courtesy of the EPA)

2. Wired.com is Tracing the Origins of Debris

3.

Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris

The Great Awakening

On March 11, 2009 Charles Murray delivered an intriguingly (but not surprisingly) intense speech at the AEI Annual Dinner. He described how as America is pushed towards the European model of society by it's politicians, that the American public will begin to resist more and more (until eventually overcoming this liberal movement through the endorsement of American elites). He deems this return a new "Great Awakening" by way of American exceptionalism:

"American exceptionalism is not just something that Americans claim for themselves. Historically, Americans have been different as a people, even peculiar, and everyone around the world has recognized it. I'm thinking of qualities such as American optimism even when there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it. That's quite uncommon among the peoples of the world. There is the striking lack of class envy in America--by and large, Americans celebrate others' success instead of resenting it. That's just about unique, certainly compared to European countries, and something that drives European intellectuals crazy. And then there is perhaps the most important symptom of all, the signature of American exceptionalism--the assumption by most Americans that they are in control of their own destinies. It is hard to think of a more inspiriting quality for a population to possess, and the American population still possesses it to an astonishing degree. No other country comes close.

Underlying these symptoms of American exceptionalism are the underlying exceptional dynamics of American life. Alexis de Tocqueville wrote a famous book describing the nature of that more fundamental exceptionalism back in the 1830s. He found American life characterized by two apparently conflicting themes. The first was the passion with which Americans pursued their individual interests, and made no bones about it--that's what America was all about, they kept telling Tocqueville. But at the same time, Tocqueville kept coming up against this phenomenal American passion for forming associations to deal with every conceivable problem, voluntarily taking up public affairs, and tending to the needs of their communities. How could this be? Because, Americans told Tocqueville, there's no conflict. "In the United States," Tocqueville writes, "hardly anybody talks of the beauty of virtue. . . . They do not deny that every man may follow his own interest; but they endeavor to prove that it is the interest of every man to be virtuous." And then he concludes, "I shall not here enter into the reasons they allege. . . . Suffice it to say, they have convinced their fellow countrymen."

The exceptionalism has not been a figment of anyone's imagination, and it has been wonderful. But it isn't something in the water that has made us that way. It comes from the cultural capital generated by the system that the Founders laid down, a system that says people must be free to live life as they see fit and to be responsible for the consequences of their actions; that it is not the government's job to protect people from themselves; that it is not the government's job to stage-manage how people interact with each other. Discard the system that created the cultural capital, and the qualities we love about Americans can go away. In some circles, they are going away."


Will Obama's new New Deal policies and reports of "right-wing extremists" push the country back to more conservative roots? Can American exceptionalism be claimed by the conservative movement?

Websurdity Wednesday: Luchadors and Tea

1. YES! Not absurd, just awesome. And I am totes going.

2. im blue da bu di da bu di

3. Commie Walkie-Talkies? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw Kim Jong Il endorsing Nextel.














4. Or maybe building an ark?

5. I pity the fool using a Garmin.

6. BK, Mexico is going to cut you for your crown and use it for drugs.




Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line

A New Segway to the Future of GM?

Easter Gone Wrong

SUPER thanks to Peter Pope for providing hysterical laughter for my family on Easter - yes, I even shared this with my mom!

Also included in this post are the inappropriate email forwards I received this year:

Websurdity Wednesday: Zombie Scabs

Taking cue from Jesse Davis' alliterative themes + days of the week (see Theo Thursdays), I am trying out a new absurdity - Websurdity Wednesdays - to be filled with general ridiculousness. Are you asking yourself, "Self, what does that even mean?!" then you have successfully entered Websurdity Wednesday. Cheers!

Austin Powers takes over Slate.com title edits.

Celebrity Death Match: Communism v. Twitter (same idea, wired differently.)

Stress makes zombies. It's science. Be prepared or send a card.

Um, yeah, Wall Street, so do you need a bandaid or something? (Or will there be milkshake?)

Paint? Who needs paint when you can dribble blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick?

Marrying for Love....and Healthcare?

Recession madness continues, thanks to the NY Daily News! My 2 favorite quotes from the article:

1. I called to tell Adam the news. "Do you want me to cancel the dog walker?" he asked. I burst into tears.
2. "Are you looking for something in particular?" a salesgirl would ask. "Yes, actually," I'd say, "I'm getting married in Central Park in four hours."

We're Off to Mexico!

Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

"This system of 50 symbol signs was designed for use at the crossroads of modern life: in airports and other transportation hubs and at large international events. Produced through a collaboration between the AIGA and the U.S. Department of Transportation, they are an example of how public-minded designers can address a universal communication need."

Apparently, the WSJ.com decided that we needed the North Korea dilemma explained in universal bathroom language...

In reference to the link above, I would like to tell another story:

Titled: Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

1993: Mens Restrooms denied access to a Rocket. (silently).
1994: Talks forced Mens Restrooms hands.
1995, 1996, & 1997: The years were short, nothing happened.
1998: Except for in this short time, Mens Restrooms grew tired of the rocket's antics (explosions) and silently challenged the Rocket to a duel.
1999: The Rocket won.
2000: Four hands formed an alliance against Mens Restrooms and Rockets.
2001: A short year moved backwards in time.
2002: Two of the hands betrayed the other hands by secretly forming an alliance with Radio Active Material.
2003: Mens Restrooms and the Rocket spoke to each other for the first time. It did not end well. Rocket, you know Mens Restrooms doesn't speak Spanish!
2004: A short year moved backwards in time. Revisited.
2005: The denied Rocket, hurt by Mens Restrooms not speaking Spanish, sought comfort in the other Two Hands.
2006: The Two Hands had mentioned the partnership with Radio Active Material in '05, so the Rocket considered joining too, then x'd that idea, then pictured just himself and the Radio Active Material, then spoke this union out loud and liked it. Yes!
2007: The Two Hands, who had originally joined with Radio Active Material, were left alone (and exposed).
2008: Mens Restooms, in a fit of jealous rage, confronted the Rocket and Radio Active Material. Someone got denied.
2009: Yep. It was the Radio Active Material. Mens Restrooms and Rocket stand again!

Quit Your Dandelion Around!

Randy dandelions and their whorish ways:

Too Much Cock

Prepare for battle: final budget votes today! The GOP really had a chance to combat the O'budget but instead waited until the last minute to crank an alternative out. Now they're frantically trying to get press, but it's really too late...it's like they wanted to fail (but still be able to say "we offered an alternative"). Cop out. And the country is in desperate need of Republicans - especially in Hawaii. There's only one way to solve a rooster infestation and it's called "Operation Panda" (eats, shoots, and leaves).

A Letter to G20 Protesters

Dear G20 Protesters,

Let's discuss some of your propaganda materials...

1. If you want people to take you seriously, you should plan ahead. Disorganization/chaos won't win the hearts of millions - you just look sloppy. I mean, your protest was on the official schedule, so you should have had enough time to either plan your spacing better or redo the sign:

Also, you probably shouldn't be wearing green...

2. Choose effective visual aids, not ones that imply the better option to capitalism is a breadline:


3. Watercolors don't scare people. Not even ones that use Gargamel features to create caricatures:


4. Ok. G20 vomiting blood (or tongue) Money Monster is creepy. Bravo?

Love,
Me

PS - wsj.com makes an excellent point about the financial sytem not being capitalist enough...