We're Going to Candy Mountain, Charlie

Come hither blog readers! Jesse and I have formed a joint blog of epic proportions, titled: The Davis Firm. And I will be updating starting after now exclusively on the new blog. I am not guaranteeing that it's not a magical blog, but I'm pretty sure you won't end up losing a kidney. What more motivation do you need?

Classic:

Websurdity Wednesday: Perry, Okra, and Twitter Crisis

As Jesse is revisiting his series (SFW) today, I too felt inspired to publish an edition of Websurity Wednesday. I am issuing the following awards today:

1. Most Inappropriate News Title: goes to NPR.com for "Open Your Mind (And Your Mouth) To Okra"
*the opening line of the article, "I have a wonderful relationship with okra, but it didn't start out that way." - gross.

2. Best Social Commentary on the Ridiculousness of Social Commentary During a Crisis Situation: goes to Lore Sjoberg for his most recent Alt Text on Wired.com
*kudos for exposing extra ridiculousness: "Two Australian girls, lost in a storm drain, recently used their cellphones to update Facebook to alert people about their predicament rather than calling emergency services. Some reports indicate they also took the time to complete a 'Which Smurf Are You Quiz,' and got the result 'Dangerously Oblivious Smurf.'"

3. Best Rick Perry Exposed Expose: goes to The Austin Statesman in a tie for "You can't confuse Rick Perry" and "Herman: Talk about boots on the ground - Rudy comes to Texas to stump for Rick"
*Confusion: "Throw a dime in a jar every time Perry says 'first and foremost' or tells you what 'the fact of the matter' is and you’ll have enough for a steak dinner before too long. But Perry’s favorite rhetorical tool of all time may be declaring that he, and the people of Texas, are not easily confused."
*Boots: "Hey, boys and girls, it's 'The Rick and Rudy Show,' the madcap antics of a GOP odd couple. One's for abortion and gay rights, the other isn't. One has a great head of hair, the other also has a head."

Enjoy!

i nano, or at least, i want

With the return of a thin Steve Jobs, Apple has debuted the new nano:

Not Just for Old Men

In continuation of my apparent peanut gallery series on Drudge articles...

According to a Hitwise News and Media Category Weekly Report, the #1 search term in the US is "weather". With my degree in communications, I find it interesting how our old world culture of "talking about the weather" has transitioned into the faceless internet realm. Just as Samuel Johnson noted, "It is commonly observed, that when two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather," we are still equally concerned with the ongoings of weather patterns - enough to communicate our interest out into the web abyss.

Also of worthy note on the search term report:

#8: unexplained phenomenon
#9: man slaps child
#14: chupacabra

Good to know where our national concerns and interests lie.

Fashion: H1N1 v. Sith

One of the stories on Drudge today (headlined as: The H1N1 look hits Barcelona runways...), features this photo:

However, after viewing the entire gallery from the fashion show, I think we should be more concerned about the Sith invasion:























Beware: the force is strong with this one.

Snow White and the 7 X-Men?

Bam! Pow! Nooooooooo! Just as Marvel has introduced most of it's big name characters in feature films (successfully, except for Hulk and Daredevil) and alluded to future Avenger films and sequels, they sell out to Disney?! For some reason, the thought of Mickey Mouse saying, "Why, hello there Wolverine" or seeing teenagers wearing Iron Man or Spiderman mascot costumes at Disney theme parks makes me want to vom. Although, Disney might see this as their ticket into the recently popular vampire phenomenon with Marvel's Blade series:

"Vampires...I'll limit myself to observing that with the increasing popularity of vampires, we're on the verge of the unicorn syndrome all over again. If it hasn't happened already, in a few months look for airbrushed posters of sad vampires in Wal-Marts everywhere, and in a decade look for female college students saying to each other 'Were you into vampires when you were nine? Me too! We were such dorks!' "

It begins. Nothing says "Magical World of Disney" better.

Terminator: The California Garage Sale

The Governator strikes gold, genius, and bust simultaneously with a State garage sale:

"For the two-day event that ends Saturday, the state is selling off seized property and surplus supplies."

Among items being sold at extreme discounts: cars, motorcycles, laptops, Blackberrys, tools, desk chairs, antique pianos, cameras, surf boards, jewelry, etc.

So is this idea brilliant or lack luster? The article states that California is expecting to make $1 million in profit, which is chump change in comparison to their debts. And now they are going to be broke with nothing to show for it...

Mean Green Madness

OK, I LOVE North Texas, and as a previous Eagle Ambassador I learned most all of UNT's Traditions, so you can imagine my curiosity when I received the August UNT Insider newsletter linking to a new UNT Traditions website. Upon clicking the link, I started reading about the origins of UNT's nickname, the "Mean Green":


The first two paragraphs in the Mean Green section state:

"There are many spoken origins to the name "Mean Green." The oldest written source comes from a 1967 Dallas Morning News article by Randy Galloway entitled "MEAN GREEN ON THE LOOSE! Defense Swallows Foes For NTSU."

The article features defensive players; James "steals kids' candy" Ivy, Lindy "cheats at marbles" Endsley, Joe "kicks puppies" Greene, Ret "slugs old ladies" Little, Charles "the hatchet" Beatty, Henry "tears up dolls" Holland, Bob "likes to let air out of wheel chair tires" Tucker."

Wha? Oh how this makes me love North Texas more! I wish I had sweet nickname, although ol' "cheats at marbles" seems rather less than threatening...was he the Brick Tamlin of the football team?

For Great Justice

According to a recent Wired.com article (titled, China: All Your Rare-Earth Metals Belong To Us), China has become self-aware...self-aware of the value in the modern world's need for rare-earth metals. The article reference's an article from Britain's Telegraph, which states:

"Beijing is drawing up plans to prohibit or restrict exports of rare earth metals that are produced only in China and play a vital role in cutting edge technology, from hybrid cars and catalytic converters, to superconductors, and precision-guided weapons. "

Where would we be without our rare-earth metals?! Perhaps Zero Wing was more of a warning than a mishap in translation:

Destiny: LCARS on a PADD?

Perhaps the recent revival of Star Trek has awakened the dormant creativity of technology geek inventors, but whatever the reason, I too am geekishly giddy about the rumored Apple Mac tablet. Although tablet pc's are not new to the increasingly popular laptop market, they have been less than desirable products. However, Apple's success in creating the iphone and itouch (essentially mini tablet) devices has opened up new possibilities for equaled success in a tablet. Especially as Verizon and AT&T are starting to sell netbook devices with internet broadband service (accessible any where). In addition, the iphone/itouch have created a market demand/society's acceptance of touch technology. A few major pluses:

1. Possibly the return of cell phones to their primary use....as a phone. As the Blackberry and iphone can be annoyingly slow/inefficient in web access and applications, a mobile tablet could resolve the processing speed and viewing issues (not to mention storage for music/photo files and battery life).

2. Say adios to Kindle. Why buy a Kindle when you can buy a new laptop (same size) with mobile internet access and a book app? I would hope for a textbook app...

I am sure there are more, but for now...ring ring....Mac Tablet?

Tailored for a Lawyer

I recently rediscovered an old favorite time waster of mine - once only available on computer cd, now readily accessible via a series of tubes - You Don't Know Jack. One mini game, Dis or Dat "Pant Suits" made my day (as a non-law student):

Dog Days of Summer

I know Jesse has talked some about our 2 dogs on his blog, but since I tend to over-introduce everyone...have you met Sandy and Rufus?


With Jesse gone this Summer and with my Summer work schedule, the dogs are starting to get a little needy. Honestly, it's more like Fatal Attraction at the Davis house lately. It started with me turning around and one or both of the dogs laying down staring at me...creepily. Then the messages at work started...



Hmm. Odd. And then they started staying out at night...in my room. Yes, this is when things get weird. No, but seriously, the dogs have always been crated during the day...they were pound puppies and always wanted to go in their crates...kind of like a "safety zone" (if you want to use fancy dancy technical terms), not unlike the Danger Zone but very unlike the Safety Dance. It's like the Godfather always said, "Leave the hats, take the airplanes." Yeah, he never said that.

Anyways, so Sandy the Dog hates the crate now. It is the saddest, most pathetic scene in the morning...and it doesn't help that she is such a submissive dog already. It started a couple of weeks ago, with her slowly, her head hanging, getting in the crate and not eating the biscuit. Like, maybe if I don't eat the biscuit, they won't make me stay in here. Then last week she started just not going in immediately. Standing in the kitchen, like "I didn't hear you, haha." Then it became laying in the kitchen, rolling over begging. Then the latter plus dead dog/limp body not moving and me having to lift her up and put her in the crate. Now it has escalated to the latter, but she goes and lays on her soft pillow bed and gives me the Bolt begging look:



Then she won't move. Not for anything. Food? No. Baby talk? No. Force? Definitely no. So, again, as I am running late for work, I have to pick her up and put her in the crate. I have had to change my phone number and the locks on the doors from all this dog stalkery. Sandy has also been jumping up on the kitchen counter...I'm pretty sure she's scouting out the knives. Yikesers.

North Korea Smash

Dear North Korea,

A few key points to keep in mind as you continue to threaten the United States with total nuclear annihilation:

1. Gathering in a prearranged mass "shouting 'Let's smash!' in unison while punching clenched fists in the air" is not intimidating - it's ridiculous. I know that due to U.N. sanctions, you may not have access to the best educational resources, but the U.S. is larger than the 5 inches you see on a map.

2. "A placard showed hands crushing a missile with 'U.S.' written on it." OK, whoa. Clearly this is a lose lose situation...but if you want to try your hand (yuck yuck) at punching some armed U.S. missiles...

Also, if your fists are supposed to represent the total destruction of Godzilla, you might want to rethink your strategy...Godzilla might have been able to smash those Italians, but who didn't back in the day? Also, Nintendo is totally ahead of you with a smash product line - in fact, we may have to sanction you for copyright infringement. Muwhahaha...where's your fist now?

3. Now, if you are talking Jesse Davis smash style, then we should be quivering in fear.

4. A leader is the voice and face of the nation:



Love,
Me

Appalachia, cough, Argentina

Oh how the mighty Marky Marks of Republicans have fallen...but did you have to be so stupid about it? Really? The Appalachian Trail? Your staff couldn't have said out of the country? On vacation at an undisclosed location? Who thought saying Appalachian Trail was a good cover? Seriously. Also, what up with your press conference? Way to set a sinking ship on fire.

Randomness this madness brought to mind:





Also, on the National Parks website for the Appalachian Trail, they describe it as:

The People's Path and America's First National Scenic Trail

"The body of the Trail is provided by the lands it traverses, and its soul is in the living stewardship of the volunteers and workers of the Appalachian Trail community."

-from the Appalachian Trail Management Principles and the A.T. Comprehensive Plan

Do wha? Inappropriate NPS!

Rockin' the 'raq

This week Stephen Colbert, sponsored by the USO, took his show to Iraq and I agree with Matt Lauer - although, an understatement - "now, that's good television." It was an amazing show - a classy salute to the troops, great interviews with the military and Iraqi government officials, and hilarious pre-taped bits that made me fall off my seat laughing. Please find the links to the full episodes below, support the troops, and enjoy (they get better and better each day)!

Stephen Colbert's sign off on Thursday:

"I want to thank the troops here and around the world - I am rarely at a loss for words, but when I think of all you've sacrificed for your country these past six years, it really seems insufficient to say 'thank you' and really inappropriate to say 'holy sh*t.' So, I'll just say what I hope you will all be able to say soon - 'Honey, I'm coming home.'"

Monday: The Hair


Tuesday: Boot Camp


Wednesday: Tom Hanks


Thursday: Thunderbirds and the Hokie Pokie

Don't Tase Me Bro...or My Granny

First of all, I highly recommend The Hangover - Jesse, Michelle, and I saw last Friday and it was hilarious. I was afraid with all the movie promotions/advertisements that the trailers would spoil the movie, but thankfully no, it was still preserved in pure gloriousness...and yes, that's probably somewhere on the scale of preservation between prehistoric ice and formaldehyde. Also, there is a stellar taser scene...which, made me laugh inappropriately when I saw this video on the Today Show this morning:



Oh, Taser memories:

Government Auto Matchmaker?

Government matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...As we enter the month of June, the government seems to be busy shotgun marrying American auto makers to foreign companies and tax payers' wallets. The WSJ.com eloquently highlights GM's recent engagement bliss in the article titled, "GM Collapses Into Government's Arms." As an unwilling investor in this matrimonial scheme, I am uneasy - seems like GM is just in it for the money...Let's hope for a quick divorce (well, let's hope for an annulment). Or should we hope for a partnership of the caliber of the Blades of Glory Fire and Ice routine?



So, is GM registering at Bed Bath and Beyond?

I'm Not a Celebrity, Make it Stop

With the announcement of Rod Blagojevich's wife's participation in the ever intelligent series "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" on the Today Show this morning, I say make it stop. She claims that she only agreed to be on the show for financial reasons (due to the struggling economy, not her husbands famed indiscretions, of course), and not because she thinks she is a celebrity. Which she is clearly not. But she also clearly likes the attention and the money. The wife apple apparently doesn't fall far from the husband tree. All I have to say is an SNL Really? You couldn't find any other form of income? You were forced into this reality series? Really?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Leprechauns, Law, Layoffs, and Long Hours

As we enter the Summer months, I will not be able to blog as often due to long hours on the job...but, every once in a while, I will Leprechaun post. Yes, I said Leprechaun post.

Defined:

Leprechaun (or any other mythical creature ; I chose Leprechauns because the YouTube videos 1 and 2; but, I probably should have gone with Vampires as they are sure to be the new airbrushed poster subjects replacing the famed unicorn) Post - (n) a blog post that contains elements of wonder and magic; also a blog post that is rarely seen - one might have to squint or look up in a tree to catch a glimpse of said post; a special rarity worthy of airbrushing or a pot of gold.

O'blog continued: In continuing with the graduation theme from my last post, this past weekend was Baylor's graduation. The local news in Waco reported on how this year is a very tough time to be graduating - according to 1 study, only 10% of graduates have been able to secure a job. This number is pretty staggering, but this morning while I was surfing the WSJ. com website, I found another disturbing article discussing the grim prospects for graduating law students. In an interview with legal consultant Peter Zeughauser, the reporter asks:

"Not a good time to be coming out of law school, is it?

It’s not. But it’s really not a good time to be a 2L. They’re going to get hit the worst, I think. "

The article also discusses the possibility of seeing "dramatically reduced offers to summer associates at the end of this summer, and dramatically reduced offers for people to come in as summers in 2010. These cuts could be very dramatic, as much as slashed by 90 percent."

Dum dum duuuuuuuum.

Potemkin and Circumstance

"Farewell the neighing steed, and the shrill trump,
The spirit-stirring drum, the ear-piercing fife,
The Royal banner, and all quality,
Pride, Pomp, and Circumstance of glorious war!".

After Michelle's (Jesse's younger sister's) graduation this past weekend, I was reminded how Sir Elgar's march perfectly illuminates the pageantry of ceremonies - perhaps, gratuitously?



Also, with regards to Obamacare, the WSJ.com used some serious rhetorical language - perhaps gratuitously?

"This new entitlement -- like Medicare but open to all ages and all incomes -- would quickly crowd out private insurance as people gravitated to heavily subsidized policies, eventually leading to a single-payer system. So Democrats are trying to seduce diffident Republicans with a Potemkin compromise. A "soft" public option would limit enrollment only to the uninsured or those employed by small businesses, or include promises that the plan will pay market rates. As recently proposed by Chuck Schumer, it would pay claims entirely with premiums and co-pays. But if the plan can't force down reimbursement rates through brute force, and doesn't get taxpayer dollars, why bother to "compete" with private plans?

The truth is Democrats know that any policy guardrails built this year can be dismantled once the basic public option architecture is in place. The White House strategy is to dilute it just enough to win over credulous Republicans. That is what has always happened with government health programs..."

Potemkin healthcare promises or not, prepare yourselves for the congressional "Pride, Pomp, and Circumstance of glorious war!" to come.

Los Pantelones de Pakistan Estan en Fuego

"Let me be blunt," Rep. Gary Ackerman said. "Pakistan's pants are on fire."

Laughing already? Honestly, the audio is even better. Oh NPR, how you make my morning commute!

Although the Congressman's comment is a ridiculous rhetorical use of childhood name calling/taken our of context awesome, the recent events in Pakistan are extremely serious with regards to Obama's laissez-faire Middle East policy. I am not advocating that the Bush Doctrine is correct, but like it or not we are 100% involved and a new President doesn't suddenly erase the ghosts of Middle East past.

The facts are clear:

1. The Taliban is a real threat to U.S. national security
2. The Taliban advocates the suppression of women
3. The Taliban is supported by al-Qaeda
4. Pakistan is a nuclear nation
5. The Taliban has "advanced beyond their Swat valley stronghold to Buner valley, which is just 60 miles (100 km) northwest of the capital, Islamabad."
6. We fear the consequences of N. Korea and Iran obtaining nuclear weapons.
7. Please reread numbers 4 and 5.

Yes. Very serious, indeed.

Tracking the Trek

Although I have never been a Trekkie, I did grow up watching The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager with my dad. (Geek note: we also might or might not have had a Star Trek phaser remote.) I really did enjoy the series, but I have never seen a Star Trek movie - nor do I understand all the intricacies of Star Trek culture, jargon, or the Klingon language. I just find it entertaining. So, all this said, I am looking forward to seeing my first Star Trek movie in a few days:



Also, Kingons are awesome.

Swiss Chee$e, No More Holes

Swiss $$ and Tax Loopholes, that is. Although my fellow conservatives may disagree (mainly on the principle of the government telling you what you can and can't do with your own money), I actually agree with Obama and applaud his effort to "shut down offshore tax havens and end provisions that U.S. companies have used to underreport overseas profits..."

Here is a link to video of Obama announcing the news from WashingtonPost.com.

Now we must wait until later this week to find out the details of these efforts and whether they will be constitutional and whatnot. Details, shmetails - right?

Sout Up!

As rumors of Justice Souter retiring from the court are running rampant this morning, let's consider "What would Barney do?" The answer: Sout Up. As Bush Uno nominated Souter as a conservative shoe-in, all we can hope for is a similar, fair and equal nominee from Obama. Muwhahahaha...Justice served.

Anyways, if you are not familiar with the Suit Up reference from How I Met Your Mother, please find some educational resources below:

Chasing Narnia

DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a therapy session blog post.

Do you ever feel happy? I mean, REALLY stupid, substance-free induced, happy? So happy that one may feel compelled to frolic in order to release said happiness? I know that this type of happiness might be difficult to comprehend in these times of impending doom (swine flu, economic collapse, N. Korea, Afghanistan, pirates, Obama's First 100 Days, etc.), but after watching the first 40 seconds of one of the trailers on the Simpson's Movie DVD, I can confidently say: It does exist and it is HILARIOUS.

Other local happiness locations:

1. West Fest in West, TX in a field of mushrooms - with one in glasses and with a mushrump:



2. Possibly at one of Jesse's Law prof's house - the term "Narnia" did surface while we were there for an advocacy teams dinner...

3. The original Narnia in McLean, VA at the Barringer Southern Grounds.

PS: Hans Zimmer's Spider Pig Theme is AMAZING.

The Worst Hundred Days

Mustaches, Foreheads, and Jowls - oh my! Although we may feel lost in the woods as the U.S. has definitely seen better days, we have also seen many worse. But, I wonder what milestone excuse the media will use next to talk about Obama..The Second Hundred days? The day after the First Hundred days?

Pistols for Pandas

'Cause it's a good cause.

One Flu Over The Swine-Pig's Nest

How Swine Infect Humans

Yes, more Swine Flu humor through "art"... I feel like there should be a joke about pork barrel spending here...

Pigs CAN Fly

Apparently, pigs can fly (with the help of birds) - that's how the sneaky avians created swine flu in their secret sky labs.

Also, doesn't Avian Flu just sound better? I mean, Swine Flu? Really?

Let's Give a Cheer for the U of NT!

In reading the North Texas Newsletter, I noticed a small article about a larger than life UNT Alumnus, Francis Stroup:

"UNT fight song composer and alumnus Francis Stroup is featured on the New York Times web site, sharing his story about starting his career in the Depression era and his days in Denton and Golden, Texas. Music always has been a part of his life, and when he entered 'Fessor Floyd Graham's contest for a marching song, he crafted 'Fight, North Texas.' After graduating in 1929, Dr. Stroup went on to teach and eventually became a professor of physical education at Northern Illinois University. This year will mark his 100th birthday, his 80th class reunion and the 70th anniversary of the adoption of 'Fight, North Texas.'"

Here is a link to him discussing the Great Depression and college job market during that time.

Knutty Newt

In 2007, Newt Gingrich coauthored A Contract With The Earth - a probusiness approach to proenvironment initiatives. While I have not read the book, I applaud the Former Speaker's efforts to promote Green Conservatism - a passion that both Jesse and I share. Conservation, new green technologies, and recycling go hand in hand with the conservative movement - by saving resources we save money, a green revolution can be launched through the innovations of industry.

Here is a rhetorical video on Green Conservatism - heavy on the marketing, heavy on the awesome.



Chuckle worthy afterthought: "Newt has liked animals and zoos since he was a little boy." Because nothing says conservation like animals in concrete cages.

For Your Brainicle

The May issue Wired features Brain Teasers/puzzles! So, if you are looking for a distraction, here is a link to each puzzle:

Digidoku	Answer Key	Secret Codons	Answer Key
Thanks for the Memories	Answer Key	Color Scheme	Answer Key
Pick Nine	Answer Key	Bearing the Weight	Answer Key
Mixed Signals	Answer Key	Mismatched Episode Titles	Answer Key
Split Screen	Answer Key	25 Non-Random Things About Me	Answer Key
Game Changers	Answer Key	Six Little Words	Answer Key
Shades of Gray	Answer Key	Two for the Price of One	Answer Key

Font Etiquette: Comic Sans What?

You. How dare you use this font!

Apparently, there is large underground movement to remove Comic Sans from Microsoft fonts due to "inappropriate" use - such as composing serious emails, signage, Beanie Babies tags, etc. when the original intent was for comic strip word bubbles.

The movement has gained significant momentum - enough to attract the WSJ:

"Typefaces convey meaning, typographers say. Helvetica is an industry standard, plain and reliable. Times New Roman is classic. Depending on your point of view, Comic Sans is fun, breezy, silly or vulgar and lazy."

Intense, WSJ.

The Ban Comic Sans Movement has a website with an ever so clever slogan "putting the sans in comic sans."

For more background on this infontjustice, here is a link to the wikipedia article.

Yes. There is a T-Shirt.

Rubrik's Cuba?

Puzzling indeed.

First, the Obama handshake/gift exchange = a media slap in the face. Most politicians and pundits are all up in arms about the handshake, but what about the actual gift Chavez gave to Obama? Here ya go Obama, here's a book about the history of Latin America, as you obviously know nothing about the region. Yeah, that's offensive. The handshake can easily be played off as Obama's commitment to respecting foreign nations.

Also, I admit that I am not an expert on Latin America, but I do agree with Michael Barone that Obama's priorities seem discombobulated:

"As Barack Obama finishes up his second major foreign tour, a pattern in his approach to foreign policy seems to be emerging. On pressing matters of obvious importance, he has made responsible decisions that have not been far out of line with the policies of his predecessor and current necessities. But when it comes to seting priorities for the future, he has chosen to emphasize initiatives that seem more appropriate to situations America faced in his college years, the late 1970s and early 1980s, than to the threats America faces today...

In 1961, the year Obama was born, Cuba was a central preoccupation of American foreign policy. Today Cuba (population 11 million) is not a major problem. Meanwhile, the Obama administration violates the North American Free Trade Association treaty by banning trucks from Mexico (population 109 million), refuses to ratify the free-trade agreement with Colombia (population 44 million), and, despite our need for alternative fuels, makes no move to rescind the 54-cent tariff on sugar ethanol from Brazil (population 191 million).

Obama campaigned as the candidate of hope and change. But on pressing matters he has, responsibly, not produced as much change as many of his supporters expected. And in setting priorities, he seems to be heading back to the distant past, to the disarmament debates of the 1970s and 1980s, to the frenzy over Cuba in 1961-62. Is that the change we need?"

As cold war bunkers are being turned into mansions, Mr. Barone offers an interesting debate topic. Ms. Lanier, do you have any enlightening words of wisdom about Latin America foreign policy as a scholar of Brazil? Thoughts on Cuba?

Mary Not OK

I recognize that Mary K offers a great career for women and helps to empower women to provide for themselves while also taking care of a family, etc. BUT. Please do not solicit Mary K products to me on Facebook or Twitter - I accepted you as a friend, not as a sales rep. I'll poke you, not you poke me. Booya.

Talkin' Trash

And I'm not talkin' about the Homeland Security Department (although I probably should be) -I'm talkin' true garbage:

1. Jesse and I recently started a garden and compost - it's amazing! (and so is the air brushed picture above, courtesy of the EPA)

2. Wired.com is Tracing the Origins of Debris

3.

Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris

The Great Awakening

On March 11, 2009 Charles Murray delivered an intriguingly (but not surprisingly) intense speech at the AEI Annual Dinner. He described how as America is pushed towards the European model of society by it's politicians, that the American public will begin to resist more and more (until eventually overcoming this liberal movement through the endorsement of American elites). He deems this return a new "Great Awakening" by way of American exceptionalism:

"American exceptionalism is not just something that Americans claim for themselves. Historically, Americans have been different as a people, even peculiar, and everyone around the world has recognized it. I'm thinking of qualities such as American optimism even when there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it. That's quite uncommon among the peoples of the world. There is the striking lack of class envy in America--by and large, Americans celebrate others' success instead of resenting it. That's just about unique, certainly compared to European countries, and something that drives European intellectuals crazy. And then there is perhaps the most important symptom of all, the signature of American exceptionalism--the assumption by most Americans that they are in control of their own destinies. It is hard to think of a more inspiriting quality for a population to possess, and the American population still possesses it to an astonishing degree. No other country comes close.

Underlying these symptoms of American exceptionalism are the underlying exceptional dynamics of American life. Alexis de Tocqueville wrote a famous book describing the nature of that more fundamental exceptionalism back in the 1830s. He found American life characterized by two apparently conflicting themes. The first was the passion with which Americans pursued their individual interests, and made no bones about it--that's what America was all about, they kept telling Tocqueville. But at the same time, Tocqueville kept coming up against this phenomenal American passion for forming associations to deal with every conceivable problem, voluntarily taking up public affairs, and tending to the needs of their communities. How could this be? Because, Americans told Tocqueville, there's no conflict. "In the United States," Tocqueville writes, "hardly anybody talks of the beauty of virtue. . . . They do not deny that every man may follow his own interest; but they endeavor to prove that it is the interest of every man to be virtuous." And then he concludes, "I shall not here enter into the reasons they allege. . . . Suffice it to say, they have convinced their fellow countrymen."

The exceptionalism has not been a figment of anyone's imagination, and it has been wonderful. But it isn't something in the water that has made us that way. It comes from the cultural capital generated by the system that the Founders laid down, a system that says people must be free to live life as they see fit and to be responsible for the consequences of their actions; that it is not the government's job to protect people from themselves; that it is not the government's job to stage-manage how people interact with each other. Discard the system that created the cultural capital, and the qualities we love about Americans can go away. In some circles, they are going away."


Will Obama's new New Deal policies and reports of "right-wing extremists" push the country back to more conservative roots? Can American exceptionalism be claimed by the conservative movement?

Websurdity Wednesday: Luchadors and Tea

1. YES! Not absurd, just awesome. And I am totes going.

2. im blue da bu di da bu di

3. Commie Walkie-Talkies? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw Kim Jong Il endorsing Nextel.














4. Or maybe building an ark?

5. I pity the fool using a Garmin.

6. BK, Mexico is going to cut you for your crown and use it for drugs.




Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line

A New Segway to the Future of GM?

Easter Gone Wrong

SUPER thanks to Peter Pope for providing hysterical laughter for my family on Easter - yes, I even shared this with my mom!

Also included in this post are the inappropriate email forwards I received this year:

Websurdity Wednesday: Zombie Scabs

Taking cue from Jesse Davis' alliterative themes + days of the week (see Theo Thursdays), I am trying out a new absurdity - Websurdity Wednesdays - to be filled with general ridiculousness. Are you asking yourself, "Self, what does that even mean?!" then you have successfully entered Websurdity Wednesday. Cheers!

Austin Powers takes over Slate.com title edits.

Celebrity Death Match: Communism v. Twitter (same idea, wired differently.)

Stress makes zombies. It's science. Be prepared or send a card.

Um, yeah, Wall Street, so do you need a bandaid or something? (Or will there be milkshake?)

Paint? Who needs paint when you can dribble blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick?

Marrying for Love....and Healthcare?

Recession madness continues, thanks to the NY Daily News! My 2 favorite quotes from the article:

1. I called to tell Adam the news. "Do you want me to cancel the dog walker?" he asked. I burst into tears.
2. "Are you looking for something in particular?" a salesgirl would ask. "Yes, actually," I'd say, "I'm getting married in Central Park in four hours."

We're Off to Mexico!

Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

"This system of 50 symbol signs was designed for use at the crossroads of modern life: in airports and other transportation hubs and at large international events. Produced through a collaboration between the AIGA and the U.S. Department of Transportation, they are an example of how public-minded designers can address a universal communication need."

Apparently, the WSJ.com decided that we needed the North Korea dilemma explained in universal bathroom language...

In reference to the link above, I would like to tell another story:

Titled: Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

1993: Mens Restrooms denied access to a Rocket. (silently).
1994: Talks forced Mens Restrooms hands.
1995, 1996, & 1997: The years were short, nothing happened.
1998: Except for in this short time, Mens Restrooms grew tired of the rocket's antics (explosions) and silently challenged the Rocket to a duel.
1999: The Rocket won.
2000: Four hands formed an alliance against Mens Restrooms and Rockets.
2001: A short year moved backwards in time.
2002: Two of the hands betrayed the other hands by secretly forming an alliance with Radio Active Material.
2003: Mens Restrooms and the Rocket spoke to each other for the first time. It did not end well. Rocket, you know Mens Restrooms doesn't speak Spanish!
2004: A short year moved backwards in time. Revisited.
2005: The denied Rocket, hurt by Mens Restrooms not speaking Spanish, sought comfort in the other Two Hands.
2006: The Two Hands had mentioned the partnership with Radio Active Material in '05, so the Rocket considered joining too, then x'd that idea, then pictured just himself and the Radio Active Material, then spoke this union out loud and liked it. Yes!
2007: The Two Hands, who had originally joined with Radio Active Material, were left alone (and exposed).
2008: Mens Restooms, in a fit of jealous rage, confronted the Rocket and Radio Active Material. Someone got denied.
2009: Yep. It was the Radio Active Material. Mens Restrooms and Rocket stand again!

Quit Your Dandelion Around!

Randy dandelions and their whorish ways:

Too Much Cock

Prepare for battle: final budget votes today! The GOP really had a chance to combat the O'budget but instead waited until the last minute to crank an alternative out. Now they're frantically trying to get press, but it's really too late...it's like they wanted to fail (but still be able to say "we offered an alternative"). Cop out. And the country is in desperate need of Republicans - especially in Hawaii. There's only one way to solve a rooster infestation and it's called "Operation Panda" (eats, shoots, and leaves).

A Letter to G20 Protesters

Dear G20 Protesters,

Let's discuss some of your propaganda materials...

1. If you want people to take you seriously, you should plan ahead. Disorganization/chaos won't win the hearts of millions - you just look sloppy. I mean, your protest was on the official schedule, so you should have had enough time to either plan your spacing better or redo the sign:

Also, you probably shouldn't be wearing green...

2. Choose effective visual aids, not ones that imply the better option to capitalism is a breadline:


3. Watercolors don't scare people. Not even ones that use Gargamel features to create caricatures:


4. Ok. G20 vomiting blood (or tongue) Money Monster is creepy. Bravo?

Love,
Me

PS - wsj.com makes an excellent point about the financial sytem not being capitalist enough...

Si Se Puede

Today is Cesar Chavez Day! "Pres. Obama today commemorated Cesar Chavez's birthday with a statement acknowledging the activist who originated a favorite Obama campaign slogan"

Take This Survival Tip Aretha!

Obama's Red State

Really Obama? It's not about red states or blue states? Only about the "United" States? Since you have intervened in AIG contracts (and Congress is taxing the bonuses), used US dollars to buy toxic loans (to create faux lower mortgage rates), and now you have taken over the operations of GM and Chrysler - you must mean one United Red State of America?

Side Note: Let me be clear: although the United States government has no interest or intention of running GM, that is precisely what has occurred.

I challenge you to a quiz:

1. Which shapes do you like more?
A. Stars and Stripes
B. Hammer and Sickle

2. The Boston Tea Party was:
A. A stand against tyranny
B. Republicans just saying "no" again
C. Not handled well by King George - he should have had a press conference to explain how the tea tax was only the beginning and that taxes were going to be "unexpectedly" raised even higher

3. Capitalism is:
A. The free market at work to acheive The American Dream
B. Just another word/excuse for veiled communism? Same diff.

4. Which animal do you identify with more?
A. Elephant
B. Bald Eagle
C. Donkey
D. Bear
E. Turkey



Perhaps, life is just dealing us lemons...lemon populism, that is.

Are Netbooks a Net Gain?

Laptop chop! The mini laptop craze is catchy - and Jesse and I are starting to sneeze (yuck). Dick Tracy speak aside, netbooks seem to be a great buy for folks on a budget, in need of a portable internet device (larger and more powerful than a Blackberry). Wired.com offers a few interesting arguments:

The Netbook Effect: How Cheap Little Laptops Hit the Big Time
Netbooks May Offer Hackers Private Data Gateway
Turn a Netbook Into a Net Jukebox

Or are netbooks just following the 1980's Recession protocol along with India's new Tata Nano, small and cheap :


Is it worth spending little to no money for little to no product?

March Madness vs. March to Insanity

I love March Madness basketball - but what about the March to insanity in the financial system/Congress/White House? Let's set aside hoops and talk loops:

On American.com, they highlight Arnold King's article, "The Toxic NCAA Bracket" where he "supposes what would happen if he was doing poorly in a March Madness pool that he entered for $10 and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner came along with a fistful of taxpayer dollars."

“The way his plan works, you can put up a nickel to get a share of my bracket, and Tim will lend you forty-five cents, which you do not have to pay back if you lose. If you win, you and Tim split the proceeds. You’re happy, because for a nickel you're picking up half a share of a bracket worth fifteen cents. I’m happy, because I sell my toxic bracket for fifty cents instead of fifteen cents. Somebody should be unhappy. Guess who?”

Pervatasaurus

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

Coincidence or Correlation?

Poor, ill-fated Retardosaur: